It's Raining.....

No Men Whatsoever. In a genuinely interesting twist, Big Brother started on Wednesday and the House contains - initially - 11 female housemates. I have no idea why this should be a cause for complaint (beyond the acres of outdated misogynist humour this will provide the odious Chris Fucking Moyles on Big Mouth - why him? It would seem there isn't a single vaguely original stand up without an Edinburgh show in Britain). I'm slightly biased when it comes to all-female environments - I went to an all-girl's school from 12 to 16 and thoroughly enjoyed it, emerging completely psychologically unscathed and still capable of relationships with people with Y chromosones. Unbelievable huh? This is why I think it's fun;

1/ From a gameplay point of view, it will be interesting to see how contestants such as Charley - who clearly was basing her gameplay around her heterosexuality and 'gold digger' persona, adapt to these circumstances (beyond scowling, and telling Chanel "I've got the size zero figure you want").

2/ As Laura pointed out, the women will get to know one another as personalities more than they might have otherwise, before the inevitable introduction of male housemates.

3/ The least interesting aspect of the past two BBs has been the bloody relationships. Grace/Mikey = Spite meets Lego. Maxwell/Saskia= Weeks of gastropod lapping at one another, only interrupted by occassional flashes of bigotry. The interesting stuff is always the friendships, alliances, and general pissing about.

It seems there'll be a man going in on Friday - in the least shocking twist there would ever be, who else is fairly convinced they'll ship in the gay male contestants first?

My thoughts so far:

1/ Sam/Amanda. The newest additions to the "Can you imagine being stuck in a house with THAT" BB hall of infamy. They're twins, they like pink, they love a good scream, they make up little 'raps' about their cuteness, they enjoy leaping round furniture in circles endlessly like the world's largest hamsters. I think they are hamsters. Oh, I can't hate them, they don't appear to have a single hateful or negative bone in their weirdly psychologically connected bodies. We're all just waiting to see what happens when one of them get evicted. Have you read The Silent Twins?

2/ Lesley. An addition to the "Why are they there?" BB hall of infamy. She's upper class, clearly used to not compromising, dislikes music and noise, and spent much of the Launch Night with a facial expression reminiscent of soldiers on D Day. Is at least aware of her white elephant status. We'll see.

3/ Charley. Has anyone misjudged the voting mood so spectacularly? Charley might have done ok for a few weeks in BB6 or 7. But everyone's fed up with contestants whose game plan in life appears to be to get their bazookas out, shag Calum Best and then hopefully get hugely famous. All this whilst telling us that she's a free loader. May have some work to do on charm.

4/ Tracey. Positives: Is an antidone to the preponderance of uber made up lovelies. Does possess the openess of mind and relentless positivity of those who spent the past two decades leaping about to hardcore in a field in Sussex.
Negatives: GHB and Ketamine are not widely available in the BB house. We'll see.

5/ Chanel. A Victoria Beckham lookalike named after a brand of perfume. All you need to know? I suspect that rather like her idol, there's an intelligence and sense of humour in this lady which is often overlooked. I am often wrong.

6/ Shabnam. I wanted to like Shabnam. I liked her dress a lot, and found her nervousness endearing. Have distinct horrible feeling she may be Charley in indie (have you heard of it? It's a knew type of music which is going to TAKE OVER) guise. Please don't do it to me Shabnam.

7/ Emily. The indie comment made me laugh a lot. She's the Shelley of this series. Ho-hum.

8/ Laura. My favourite. Funny (and about her self as well as others), aware of her limitations, interested in the other housemates, far more intelligent and perceptive than she initially lets on. Talks too much and wants to be an embalmer. What's not to love so far?

9/ Nicky. Dramatically normal. Seemed very pleasant. Don't disappear Nicky.

10/ Carol. I must admit a bias against people with perfectly decent liberal left wing beliefs who join the Respect Party - I usually assume this indicates a brain of warm cottage cheese. But she (like Tracey) is a fabulous change from the average BB character and does seem warm, affable and up for a laugh. So she has my affections so far.

And now begins several months of trying, and failing, to drag myself away from the Internet and TV. Hurrah!